So I know I am not technically due for another two weeks, but man I would love to have this little man here! After him trying to make an early debut I was sure I wouldn't make it this far, so I guess I'm a little surprised that he is finding my tummy so comfy now! I'm still having contractions every 5 minutes. And it's getting to the point where my tummy feels sore, like I've been doing too many sit-ups (yeah right!). There will be times where I will have 4 or 5 in a row that are pretty darned tough so I get a little excited/scared and then they go back to just being "uncomfortable". I guess he will wait until he is good and cooked in there.
Although I am ready and want him here I am still having some major anxieties about being a "mom". Being the youngest in my family I was never exposed to babies until my beautiful niece, Parker, came along when I was 16. I HATED baby sitting and therefore avoided anything to do with "tending" to little ones most of my life. When I did have nieces and nephews, I loved it, but being an aunt is A LOT different than being the actual "mom"!!! I have learned quite a bit in my nursing career and have taught how to care for the newborn/infant/child who is actually in acute distress, but I think that actually makes me more nervous. Having a little bit of knowledge and having worked on many sick/dying babies/children makes my mind go crazy with all the possibilities of what can happen at any moment. Can you say, "PARANOID"? Yep, that's me about now.
I have also been worried about getting the little fella on a schedule and everything in order for me to go back to work and have daddy Wade taking care of him at night. I will only have a couple of short weeks off of work and feel the pressure to start right from the beginning with a routine. I've been reading "The secrets of the baby whisperer" (Thanks Shawna!) and I am hooked. It's all very basic principles and yet the whole concept is pretty amazing to me. Basically you treat your baby with respect, as a little person and help them to structure their day so that their needs are met and they feel safe and secure. I'm really hoping that we can try it and that it can work for us. All babies are so different and I know our little man is already full of personality. I just want him to be a happy/secure baby and I want us as parents to feel happy/secure. Plus, the book says that you can have your baby sleeping at least 6-8 hours by 10 weeks of age. Who wouldn't want that?
Anyway, I'm sure that all of my anxieties and paranoia are normal. I just love this little man so much already and I really want to be a good mom. I have no worries about Wade being the best dad. It will be so natural for him. But me, now that's who we've got to worry about. I'm just praying that it will come to me without too much pain and suffering on poor little Jericho's part!